Do What Diddy Diddy Dumb Diddy Do...
That song is constantly stuck in my head. It's past the point of being ridiculous.
Anywho..
Backtracking to Day 1 ... Workout did not happen. I thought implementing the wake up at o' dark thirty plan was best to start when I hadn't previously exhausted myself less than 8 hours before, so turned out the lights, turned off the tv, took a sleep aid and tried to crash at 9 in order to wake up at 3:45. But because I have personal issues racing through my mind at turbo speed (eat your heart out Dale Earnhardt) + stressing out about getting caught up on school work *I choose to turn a blind eye to the fact that I'm blogging right now instead of studying* = me not falling asleep when I had hoped. Needless to say when my alarm clock went off to get up to work out...
I"m sorry what alarm clock?... Who said what when?
Anyway.. I'm going to work out tonight. I'm determind.
Ok.. Determind isn't the correct word. It's not even in the same zip code of what I am right now. But whatever. Who's gonna do it for me?
Today's "diet" <-- keep in mind I make this up as I go
Turkey bacon x2 - idk how many calories exactly that is, but my stomach would say a big "eff you" to anyone who said more than 125
Subway (oven roasted chicken to be exact) - 350 cal
Baked Doritos - 90 cal (see how well the no carb thing is working for me yet?)
Chili + cheese = 620 cal
grapes = 100 cal
more cheese = 150ish cal
Staying under 1500 calories a day is not my problem.. Drinking lots of water is not my problem.. Working out used to not be my problem {read: I got lazy for two weeks and in that time Couch has become my new best friend.. Her pet nickname for me is potato... ok but seriously, if you know me, you know I don't have time for that} so dangit I will lose an additional 20 lbs before Feb. 1st.
Why Feb. 1 you ask? Taxes. Duh. New wardrobe and as a personal "I kick ass" reward to myself for losing the weight? A new tattoo. Shhh. Added bonus will be my birthday hitting 3 weeks later and being able to rock a great dress for my night out in.. Austin perhaps? Who knows.
Updates.. Updates.. Updates..
Hmm.. Nothing more to share really.
Still broken. And after it all (but what is "all" really? Besides family telling me that it's wrong and me overthinking even the simpliest of things?) I still don't have the willpower to fix myself with shatterproof glue and walk away from him indefinately. Quite sad. And that's putting it mildly. And either I'm a really great actress, he's that oblivious, or he just really truly doesn't give a damn.. whatever the reason.. It's a continuing cycle. Oh well. It's getting easier to accept it. My opinion of myself is at an all time low for letting myself be used though... But every person has that kryptonite right? And no I don't care if I spelt that wrong. I'm not super hero savy and I like it that way.
Anyway. Off my lazy bum. Time to work out. Yay.
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