"Are we there yet?" "Momma, are we there yet?" "We there yet momma?"
On repeat. 3 dozen or so times. From the moment we entered the subdivision until we got home.
(I won't tell her in the future that I ask myself this question on a daily basis when it comes to the trip down Interstate Never Ending that is my life.. ok maybe not my life, but school.. and my career.. which leads to my own place.. and new car.. ok so yes... my life)
Are you kidding me? I thought I had more time than this. Yet, at the same time I'm willing potty training to be over. Slightly ironic.
She amazes me every day. Her laugh, her energy (seriously.. where did that come from?!), how much love she has for those in her life. I'm still in awe that God found it fit to pair me with my perfect fit..........
And just as I'm typing this she tries to drown my laptop in water..........
There are no words..........
New topic: To all the la bouchey sport reporters? I'm pretty sure the goal of every team in the NFL is to make it to playoffs and ultimately the Superbowl. So will you PLEASE stop headlining the Texans as TRYING to make it to the playoffs? Because seriously.. I want to kick a kitten every time I hear or read that. Ok.. That's a slight exaggeration. But seriously. We've been "trying" to make the playoffs EVERY year. Believe it or not... The fact that we're so close is not lost on me. I'm just as excited as the next Texans fans. But your idiocracy annoys me. And to the DUMBASS who went and got a sleeve tattoo of the Texans and the Superbowl XYZ (yes, I'm a girl that likes football, not I don't care enough to remember what number we're on) on his arm the second the Texans start winning. If cosmic karma rains down and we don't make it to the playoffs, let alone the superbowl, I'll blame you.
Malaria. Seriously. I have to write about this. I just spent two hours of my life watching a movie about malaria. TWO HOURS. I'll never get that time of my life back. My proffessor is a Devil worshiper in disguise as a human activist.
Lastly, the diet.
Diet is still good.
I however suck at life and once again did not work out last night or this mornin. My defense about this morning? I had the tiny tot in my bed. She's at the age to wake up and crawl in my bed at 2 am without me knowing. And who am I to kick out a sleepy 2 year old?
Ok seriously. I'm making excuses for myself. But this week has not been my week. Not to say that it's been a bad week but for some strange reason, classes are kicking my ass. Ugh. But I"ll be ok. Just have to survive tomorrow then have Friday off for Veterans day. To study. Yay.
No more bullshit about the other. I'm over it. Ok not really, but I'm willing myself to be. And my one saving grace to studying psychology is overthinking also happens to be my down fall. So I'm willing myself to be simplistic in my thought process. Something I again find funny.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
{Insert Witty Title Here}
Do What Diddy Diddy Dumb Diddy Do...
That song is constantly stuck in my head. It's past the point of being ridiculous.
Anywho..
Backtracking to Day 1 ... Workout did not happen. I thought implementing the wake up at o' dark thirty plan was best to start when I hadn't previously exhausted myself less than 8 hours before, so turned out the lights, turned off the tv, took a sleep aid and tried to crash at 9 in order to wake up at 3:45. But because I have personal issues racing through my mind at turbo speed (eat your heart out Dale Earnhardt) + stressing out about getting caught up on school work *I choose to turn a blind eye to the fact that I'm blogging right now instead of studying* = me not falling asleep when I had hoped. Needless to say when my alarm clock went off to get up to work out...
I"m sorry what alarm clock?... Who said what when?
Anyway.. I'm going to work out tonight. I'm determind.
Ok.. Determind isn't the correct word. It's not even in the same zip code of what I am right now. But whatever. Who's gonna do it for me?
Today's "diet" <-- keep in mind I make this up as I go
Turkey bacon x2 - idk how many calories exactly that is, but my stomach would say a big "eff you" to anyone who said more than 125
Subway (oven roasted chicken to be exact) - 350 cal
Baked Doritos - 90 cal (see how well the no carb thing is working for me yet?)
Chili + cheese = 620 cal
grapes = 100 cal
more cheese = 150ish cal
Staying under 1500 calories a day is not my problem.. Drinking lots of water is not my problem.. Working out used to not be my problem {read: I got lazy for two weeks and in that time Couch has become my new best friend.. Her pet nickname for me is potato... ok but seriously, if you know me, you know I don't have time for that} so dangit I will lose an additional 20 lbs before Feb. 1st.
Why Feb. 1 you ask? Taxes. Duh. New wardrobe and as a personal "I kick ass" reward to myself for losing the weight? A new tattoo. Shhh. Added bonus will be my birthday hitting 3 weeks later and being able to rock a great dress for my night out in.. Austin perhaps? Who knows.
Updates.. Updates.. Updates..
Hmm.. Nothing more to share really.
Still broken. And after it all (but what is "all" really? Besides family telling me that it's wrong and me overthinking even the simpliest of things?) I still don't have the willpower to fix myself with shatterproof glue and walk away from him indefinately. Quite sad. And that's putting it mildly. And either I'm a really great actress, he's that oblivious, or he just really truly doesn't give a damn.. whatever the reason.. It's a continuing cycle. Oh well. It's getting easier to accept it. My opinion of myself is at an all time low for letting myself be used though... But every person has that kryptonite right? And no I don't care if I spelt that wrong. I'm not super hero savy and I like it that way.
Anyway. Off my lazy bum. Time to work out. Yay.
That song is constantly stuck in my head. It's past the point of being ridiculous.
Anywho..
Backtracking to Day 1 ... Workout did not happen. I thought implementing the wake up at o' dark thirty plan was best to start when I hadn't previously exhausted myself less than 8 hours before, so turned out the lights, turned off the tv, took a sleep aid and tried to crash at 9 in order to wake up at 3:45. But because I have personal issues racing through my mind at turbo speed (eat your heart out Dale Earnhardt) + stressing out about getting caught up on school work *I choose to turn a blind eye to the fact that I'm blogging right now instead of studying* = me not falling asleep when I had hoped. Needless to say when my alarm clock went off to get up to work out...
I"m sorry what alarm clock?... Who said what when?
Anyway.. I'm going to work out tonight. I'm determind.
Ok.. Determind isn't the correct word. It's not even in the same zip code of what I am right now. But whatever. Who's gonna do it for me?
Today's "diet" <-- keep in mind I make this up as I go
Turkey bacon x2 - idk how many calories exactly that is, but my stomach would say a big "eff you" to anyone who said more than 125
Subway (oven roasted chicken to be exact) - 350 cal
Baked Doritos - 90 cal (see how well the no carb thing is working for me yet?)
Chili + cheese = 620 cal
grapes = 100 cal
more cheese = 150ish cal
Staying under 1500 calories a day is not my problem.. Drinking lots of water is not my problem.. Working out used to not be my problem {read: I got lazy for two weeks and in that time Couch has become my new best friend.. Her pet nickname for me is potato... ok but seriously, if you know me, you know I don't have time for that} so dangit I will lose an additional 20 lbs before Feb. 1st.
Why Feb. 1 you ask? Taxes. Duh. New wardrobe and as a personal "I kick ass" reward to myself for losing the weight? A new tattoo. Shhh. Added bonus will be my birthday hitting 3 weeks later and being able to rock a great dress for my night out in.. Austin perhaps? Who knows.
Updates.. Updates.. Updates..
Hmm.. Nothing more to share really.
Still broken. And after it all (but what is "all" really? Besides family telling me that it's wrong and me overthinking even the simpliest of things?) I still don't have the willpower to fix myself with shatterproof glue and walk away from him indefinately. Quite sad. And that's putting it mildly. And either I'm a really great actress, he's that oblivious, or he just really truly doesn't give a damn.. whatever the reason.. It's a continuing cycle. Oh well. It's getting easier to accept it. My opinion of myself is at an all time low for letting myself be used though... But every person has that kryptonite right? And no I don't care if I spelt that wrong. I'm not super hero savy and I like it that way.
Anyway. Off my lazy bum. Time to work out. Yay.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Day 1: Take 397,245,243
In writing the title to today's blog, I realized it goes for more than one thing that's on my mind today. Birds, meet stone.
Bird #1 to be henceforth know as the diet bird
So today I started dieting. AGAIN. I have some motivation again which I've been lacking since I hit level playing field in June. Yay. Just in time for the holidays. Label me crazy. I know I already am.
So! Today consisted of eating:
Special K cereal + skim milk = 150 cal
Turkey slices (x4) = 100 cal
cheese cubes (x7) = 110 cal
grapes (x10) = 60 cal
banana = 130ish cal
pretzels = 50 cal
chicken spagehtti = 600 cal
And the work outs start again in T- 3 hours. I'm going to try to switch back to waking up at 4:00 and working out then since its better for your metabolism. Read: Nows the time to bet some serious money, because o' too damn early is not the time schedule I enjoyed being on. But it worked for me back in May. Let's see what it does for me now. There's ony 6 weeks left of the semester. I can surive it right? ..........
Don't answer that.
Bird #2 comes in the form of regret.
I'm not going to go into the meloramatic details because frankly, what good does it do? I will say.. that my self respect took a ride down the sewer today and is half way out to sea. True, I'd rather be in THIS mind set that I'm in rather than be in the mindset I was around this time last year. But seriously. What the hell is wrong with me? If I don't love myself, how is anyone going to love me. Same goes for respect.
Excuse me while I go find a shovel to bury myself in a hole. The way I'm feeling, I'll reach China by midday tomorrow.
Bird #1 to be henceforth know as the diet bird
So today I started dieting. AGAIN. I have some motivation again which I've been lacking since I hit level playing field in June. Yay. Just in time for the holidays. Label me crazy. I know I already am.
So! Today consisted of eating:
Special K cereal + skim milk = 150 cal
Turkey slices (x4) = 100 cal
cheese cubes (x7) = 110 cal
grapes (x10) = 60 cal
banana = 130ish cal
pretzels = 50 cal
chicken spagehtti = 600 cal
And the work outs start again in T- 3 hours. I'm going to try to switch back to waking up at 4:00 and working out then since its better for your metabolism. Read: Nows the time to bet some serious money, because o' too damn early is not the time schedule I enjoyed being on. But it worked for me back in May. Let's see what it does for me now. There's ony 6 weeks left of the semester. I can surive it right? ..........
Don't answer that.
Bird #2 comes in the form of regret.
I'm not going to go into the meloramatic details because frankly, what good does it do? I will say.. that my self respect took a ride down the sewer today and is half way out to sea. True, I'd rather be in THIS mind set that I'm in rather than be in the mindset I was around this time last year. But seriously. What the hell is wrong with me? If I don't love myself, how is anyone going to love me. Same goes for respect.
Excuse me while I go find a shovel to bury myself in a hole. The way I'm feeling, I'll reach China by midday tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)