'Tis the Season...

. . . For ex's to get in touch with you in the guise of wishing you happy holidays. . . Four, count them FOUR ex love interests have contacted me in the last two days. . . . The thing about deleting numbers is that just because you take that step, doesn't mean that they will. . . . Which is fine. . . . But holy cow. . .  People I haven't talked to in MONTHS are suddenly interested in how me and A are.. First of all, don't use my daughter as a way of feigning interest. . . She's my soft spot that will forever be guarded with a brick wall and barbed wire fence. . . Using her will only piss me off. . .  You've been warned. . . .

Of course hearing from them wasn't all bad. . . Just confusing, painful and great all at the same time. . . I miss some of them in warped ways. . . . But they're exes for a reason. . . . And while I wish for different futures with some of them. . . I have to stop living in the what ifs. . . And boy are there a lot of them. . .

There's the possibility of someone else right now. . . And while the theory of it sounds great in my head and maybe on paper. . . I'm still nervous as HECK about the changes it could entail. . . And today I'm second guessing it all as a whole. . . but that's too long of a story. . .  We'll just take it one day at a time . . . 

Christmas was WONDERFUL. . . It was a whirlwind of craziness, but what holiday isn't? The holidays haven't been "exciting" for a long time. . . Of course there was the "me, me, me, I want, I want, I want" aspect of it to look forward to, but the meaning of the holiday stopped mattering so much when I was in high school. . . But now that I have A. . . I feel like a kid again. . .  The change of the weather, the way E. L. glows like a spot light from all the decorated houses, presents piling up under the tree. . . It's almost hard not to believe in Santa any more as much as we talk about him. . . . From start to finish, the holiday was wonderful and I'm so thankful for everything and everyone I have in my life to make it special. . .

Now it's time to look forward to a New Year. . . No plans as of yet. . . Kind of bittersweet. . . . My mom changed her weekend schedule in order to watch A and for me to take advantage of the holiday. . .  Another reason to count her as an awesome mom and G-ma. . . But no one to spend it with or plans to do anything as of yet so I may just spend the night at home. . . Which wouldn't be a problem if Lynn was old enough to keep my company. . . Instead it'll be a night to lay in bed and reflect on the year. . .  Not sure how I feel about that with all the ups and downs it had. . .  But 2012 will be an awesome year. . .  If I can turn around the 2011 around like I did, I know I can make 2012 my year!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!! <3 YOU TO YOU ALL!!!