You really didn't. But if I'm being honest, neither did I. And it gives me great pleasure in proving all of us wrong.
I spent so much of my time between the ages of 17 - 20 trying to prove myself and the world that I was an adult - capable of making my own decisions and the ability to handle any repercussions from them.
What did I have to brag about then exactly? Being a high school drop out with her G.E.D. with a waitressing job? I took years off my life by drinking too much and smoking like a chimney, and I didn't care about anyone but myself; therefore, it wasn't shocking to anybody when I became pregnant with no help from the dad.
I was the definition of statistic.
For all of ten seconds.
It's been a struggle, and it definitely hasn't happened in the blink of an eye, but who I am now is the best version of me possible. I've risen above that definition and what I had come to view myelf as.
I *am* a single mother.
Yet I am not on my third child with a fourth baby daddy.
Every decision I make, everything I do, I do for her.
I didn't marry the first guy I dated after having her (we'll ignore the fact that I did fall in love with him thank you very much) in hopes that he would take care of us.
I have a respectful full time job.
And I go to school full time.
I've accomplished a hell of a lot in the past year. Dean's List. A new car (this continues to be a big thing for me.. But dangit! I earned that car.The exact style I wanted. On my own without needing help from any one. *Note: needing and wanting are two different things.* Ha!)
And that's not to keep from giving credit where credit is due. I owe my life to the one hell of a support system I have behind me. From family to friends to coworkers. You've all given me the the encouragement I needed to get here and support in knowing that I deserve to be.
My life is hard and certainly not perfect. I'll admit that outright. But I am so grateful for it.
I learned the hard way not to rush "growing" up. My "surprise" child has helped me become the person I am meant to be. A person that I'm proud to be. To be honest I don't like to think about the person I was and would have become had it not been for her.
What brought all this on? I've been reflecting a lot on the past year. The good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. And the good outshines the bad in every aspect.
To those who believed in me and continue to do so? Thank you. I owe you a debt and gratitude I'll never be able to repay. Each one of you helped me strive to be this person.
To those who laughed when they found out I was expecting? Who looped me in with all the other statistics and therefore had my future pegged?
Who's laughing now?
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